Tag: Learning

catch up

img_6306
Beginning of winder holidays 2017!

The wind has been howling for 27 hours sweeping away the last unseasonable warmth of the year.  The sun is brighter today than midsummer and shinning in unusual windows at unexpected angles.  The barometric pressure is . . . all over the place(?).  Snow by the end of the week.

I usually blame early winter decorations and Christmas music on Julia’s desires. This year I take some credit.  Daily news is an assault on the democratic principle I believe in. Not just democracy–greed and cruelty are on the rise, spearheaded by a Republican party that has been highjacked by the the worst of humanity. The lyrics from Cool, Cool Considerate Men from the musical 1776, repeat in my head over and over through the ever increasing disgusting trump news cycles:

Well, perhaps [there are not enough men of property in America to dictate policy]. But don’t forget that most men with nothing would rather protect the possibility of becoming rich than face the reality of being poor.
And that is why they will follow us!
To the right, ever to the right
Never to the left, forever to the right.

Continue reading →

Posted on by Suzanne Buchko 0

thanksgiving gratitude

img_2359There is snow on the roof this morning.  Just the smallest of sprinklings which will disappear in the morning rain.  It is almost 8 a.m. and Julia is still asleep.  She loves the first snow and I puzzle whether to wake her.  But she so infrequently sleeps this long and we were out late last night.  I let her sleep.

Such a week this has been!

Julia has made it to school on time for the last 7 days.  On time! On one hand, such an mundane victory, but I feel like a Plantagenet claiming victory during the Hundred Years’ War.  There is back story of course.  While researching the reason that Julia was not getting picked up on time even according to Badger Bus’ schedule at 7:56, it was discovered that the student picked up before Julia hadn’t been to school since early September and that the driver was waiting for someone who is no longer going to school.  So, without that stop and without waiting for the phantom student, Julia is now picked up at 7:48.  My perfect world had her picked up at 7:45; I can concede those 3 minutes.  She is now dropped off at a different door and she does not have to wait for an SEA to escort her into the building.  She can run into the building, get to her locker and get to biology on time.  And she can do it without help although special ed is not willing to let her speed through the halls alone yet.  I expect she will be doing it alone soon. Continue reading →

Posted on by Suzanne Buchko 0

busting out of room 1112

After 6 hours of cheer practice.
Sitting in the very crowded West library during last period.  I have less than an hour before I need to get Julia when school is over.  Going home will give me about 20 minutes there and I’ve brought what I need to meet her. I’m picking her up today because she gets out at 2:40 and must be back for cheer practice at 4.

I haven’t published for a bit more than a month, I’ve started a few posts and abandoned them. Each had high emotions and descriptions of broken systems.  The landscape and emotions shift too quickly for me to either continue or revise.  It seems like a new story every few days. The promising meeting or email results in a step back instead of two steps forward as planned.

Some highlights of the past month from where I sit today, starting with the positive because I have not been keeping the positive in my head recently: Continue reading →

Posted on by Suzanne Buchko 2

graduation

IMG_5194

Julia graduated from eighth grade on Wednesday and had a pretty wonderful day.  She picked out her dress and the blue rose for her hair.  She is a kid who loves dressing up and here was an occasion. She was even willing to pose for numerous mother pictures.  The bus ladies were effusive with the compliments.  These two women who drive and help out on the special ed bus greet her every morning and appear to love her chatter.  Julia entertains them every morning. Continue reading →

Posted on by Suzanne Buchko 1

movin’ may

4:00 p.m.: I’ve spent the day in the garden beds, digging up the last of the bulbs in the front terrace beds, transplanting ajuga from those same beds to the side in front of the fence.  This is a place where the worst weeds grow. Ugly, ugly, ugly.  I planted ajuga on the fence line last fall.  About a third of it took, so I’m trying again. Cutting back spent bulb plantings and weeding just a tiny bit. I have some mighty incredible weeds after our week of rain.

Julia is working on cover art for a class project while she listens to music. Kid bob mostly with a bit of classic rock mixed in. “I just love ‘Thriller,’” she tells me. How can I not smile indulgently?

For the cover art, Julia sketched the old fashion way and then transferred her drawings to an iPad app for coloring.  When finished, the enhanced drawings will all go into a collage app to be arranged on a background and titles. For a child who stumbles over simple directions, she has figured most of this out by herself. When she’s run into problems and asks me, which surprisingly she is doing with more regularity, she is patient as I figure the problem out and usually fully understands my solution about half way through my explanation. Continue reading →

Posted on by Suzanne Buchko 4

noticing

Old toilet
New toilet. Ok, not an amazing change.

So much of life flies under the radar and goes unnoticed.  By me. Sometimes I notice a new hair cut, I comment on a Facebook announcement of a new job or I ask about an increased spring in a step, but so many times I miss much of the lives around me. I don’t know whether to attribute it to self-involvement, a teenager who needs attention or a general character flaw. Continue reading →

Posted on by Suzanne Buchko 0

a purple cast & deep learning

duy-huynh_if-it-grows-together_print
If It Grows Together ~Duy Huynh

I don’t believe that everything happens for reason. Or that there is some sort of divinity arranging events. However, I do believe that the examined life demands that I take advantage of my experiences as teaching and learning moments.

And that’s where I am today.

Last week I canceled almost everything we do.  No cello lesson, therapy with Marilyn, speech therapy, reading group, Chinese brushstroke painting, ice skating for Julia or songha for me.  We stayed home.  I went to a show on Friday night with a friend driving and we went to church on Saturday Night which had the bonus of a potluck meal afterwards.  I did homework with Julia every day and we found time to write to thank you notes that she owed but without other obligations she also had free time to play video games, listen to music, and draw Sonic. This morning I had a chilling awareness that what we did last week, no therapy and just a little bit of learning, could be what Julia’s life post high school could be like. It could become a lonely life of unrewarding work and coming home to an evening of mindless TV.  I know it’s four years away and she will change between now and then but my mother fears bubble up. What if she doesn’t change or grow during these years? What if at 21 or 25, Julia is not curious and needs me to fill her days for her in some productive way? What if only me wanting this fuller life for her? Immediately, I went down the rabbit hole of worry and fears.  What if… What if… What if. Continue reading →

Posted on by Suzanne Buchko 2

doings

img_0057
Julia’s impression of the Women’s March

Promising myself for my birthday that I was going to write every day come hell or high water . . . umm, last night I was ready to sit to write about 10 minutes before my eyes were ready to close.  Some of it busy but some of it just puttering.  What am i avoiding? I can’t even do a sit-down-write justice right now, but I can scribble a few doings. Continue reading →

Posted on by Suzanne Buchko 0

tick tock

img_0651Yesterday, I noticed Julia asking whether it was true that C was coming over to sit for her in the evening. C sat during the week and told Julia that she was coming on Sunday. Julia never remembered stuff like that—time and people—before. We’ve had months of her asking what we were doing tomorrow and what comes next in the day, usually at inappropriate moments. Vacations, breaks and visits with her sister are being commented on in terms of how soon they are coming up. Mostly questions. And during our latest travels to Chicago and Indianapolis, Julia asked more than once when we were going home and wanted to know how many more days could we stay. These are very small steps forward but she may be developing some sort of time sense.

I take a sense of time for granted.  We leave at a particular time to get to school on time, to get to meetings, to get to the movies before previews.  If we use up our time doing one task there is no time for the other, possibly preferred, task.  Christmas and birthdays and vacations are so many days and months away. Without a sense of time, the wake up alarm is merely an annoyance, rushing or taking our time makes no sense, and so many references in books and movies are wasted. Continue reading →

Posted on by Suzanne Buchko 0

conversation

img_0454
This picture may be all too appropriate.

Winter came on Sunday.  Seems like a Dr. Suess announcement.

Julia woke up a bit before 8 and announced, “Snow.  It’s snowing.”  I am never crazy about the first snow.  Not the snow so much as the driving.  Sometime in a month or so, I’ll be ready to drive through blizzards and on inches of ice, but that first snow fall . . . All I want to do is light a fire, drink hot cocoa and huddle under my crocheted Afghan on the couch.   Continue reading →

Posted on by Suzanne Buchko 0