Tag Archives: holidays

what i can say today

08 Friday Jan 2021

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I am sad and angry.  Trying to find thoughts to share but it is all too raw. 

I do have three things to share that are lovely things that should not be hidden away because of all that makes me sad and angry.

First, is Julia’s senior pictures.  The sitting for these pictures, like everything else that Julia does, was not typical.  One of the two photographers who was working that day was immediately sensitive and took extra time and care, trying to make Julia comfortable and trying to capture some of the joy that is Julia.  From the proofs, I picked four.  One will go in the yearbook.

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long noodles & herring

01 Friday Jan 2021

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Happy New Year.

I have been trying to be succinct all day.  To formulate new resolutions  as that is my yearly custom. Or to reflect on this last year—well, you know what that has been like.  To feel some inspiration.  To engage some new or renewed energy for a noble task. 

At least, I think that is what I’ve been trying to do on and off all day.

But nothing comes. Instead, I scribble, starting down one path, following it awhile until it peters out.  And then I turn to chase another path and do the same.  Nothing sticks.  

And so,

Holiday lights and the Christmas tree are still a blaze.  I am still enchanted by the tree—crowded with decorations shimmering in light by night. Admittedly during the day, I cannot help by see the tips of branches turn downwards and the angel on top has become crooked.  I don’t know which look is true, or maybe I should say that it is hard to hold both images in my head—the wilting fading greenery with crooked angel and the fairy lit confection—and know that it is the same tree.

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days of difference

24 Thursday Dec 2020

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The popourri that is December. I have not had the discipline to finish what I start.   Here is what I have been scribbling . . . 

2 December

Near on predictably, the December holidays have barely started and are already different from any other.  The questions that echo in my head are from the Passover Seder. “Why is tonight different from all other nights?” introduces each of four questions.  The questions and answers have always been ceremonial and tell a story about ancestors and why we must continue to remember and apply it to our lives.  These days the questions and answers are so very present.

On all other nights we . . . but on this night . . . 

During all other winter holiday months we . . . but during the winter holiday month during the pandemic . . .

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the wait

18 Saturday Jul 2020

Posted by in Journaling My Days

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I’ve spent the day today waiting.  Busy outside, inside quite pensive, anticipating.  I packed clothes, washed one load for the last few things to pack, cleaned the kitchen and living room—the dining room is full of what is coming with us to New Hampshire—vacuumed the hall and my room.  I asked Julia to clean her room and she got lost down the hole of rearranging her bookcase.  Just like her cleaning and arrangement of the CD rack, this was be her task of the day.  She found a few books she had been “looking” for and the program of the Milwaukee Con that we went to last year, long before the virus put an end to the costumed gatherings.  Over the past year, Julia as been gifted with two costumes that she intended to wear to the Boston Con this August.  Maybe next August?

Periodically, I look at my lists and add another something to the to-go pile.  I have some food shopping to do tomorrow before we leave but we cannot check in until after 4, so there will be no rush.

Tomorrow we leave for the house on Lake Winnipesaukee for a week of gathering together with Justin’s family to celebrate the wedding of Cheshire and Justin.  Because quarantine has provided endless time, everything I need to prepare and pack is finished.  I think.  I hope. Continue reading →

why is this night . . .

12 Sunday Apr 2020

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3C739B05-B6D1-4C82-977A-9096DF6DA02FI have a few moments after a busy morning.

Julia took a long bath and then settled into working on our virus-designated puzzle.  No real work has been done on it since our house guest of a few weeks ago left.  I’ve fiddled some nights but I am pretty dismal at putting pieces together.  After bathing, I ask Julia what she was doing and she said the puzzle.  I let her be. About an hour later, the outside pieces of the puzzle finally all fit together and a significant swath of the dragon fire was done.

I spent the morning getting ready for tonight’s Seder.  We are zooming with Cheshire and Justin at their home and a few young friends, each in their respective homes.  Cheshire sent directions and this year’s Haggadah.  We have a tradition of writing or putting together our own Haggadah each year following what David did for years.  This year version is more serious, perhaps a three Kleenex affair, and reflective of our circumstances. I approve.  It is sad to have moved so far to be together on celebrations like this and still be apart.  It is sad to have hoped for a big gathering and to have to make do with two of us sitting in front of my laptop.  Still, we gather to be together and nurture joy.  Continue reading →

year of the rat

26 Sunday Jan 2020

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Unknown-1Happy Year of the Rat!

or

恭贺新禧 (gōng hè xīn xǐ) Literal translation: respectful congratulations on the New Year.

Yesterday, after cello lesson Julia and I went to The Dumpling Palace in China town for lunch and celebration.  The restaurant was noisy, tables too close together, everyone was either leaning very close together to be heard talking or speaking loudly. We were asked to sit at a round table with two other small parties. The wait staff hurried from table to kitchen and back to tables. The arrival of dishes was announced and diners shouted to claim what was theirs. Julia had beef stew noodle soup, I had hot and sour soup, and we shared beef and crab juicy dumplings. Ours was a very small order for two compared to our tables mates but it filled us up. There was no encouragement to rush through the meal and the tea pot was replaced more than once. As we left, waiters wishes us a Happy New Year and when we returned the wishes, there were smiles.  Continue reading →

boxing day

26 Thursday Dec 2019

Posted by in Educating Julia, Growing a Daughter, Journaling My Days

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C8840884-8BEB-4F82-9CEB-86A3BF7B86D9Boxing Day.  Julia and I say ‘Happy Boxing Day’ to each other without any idea of what it means. So, I looked it up—It isn’t the day people make bonfires of the boxes that their Christmas presents came in. Neither is it the day to return all the boxes containing ill-fitting or ill-styled gifts. Those were pretty lame guesses but the best we could come up with. Google revealed (with some disagreement) that Boxing Day was British, which we knew, and traditionally a day off for servants. Servants received a ‘Christmas Box’ from the ‘master’ and then were allowed to go home to give the boxes to their families. Umm, but that’s not what happened on Downton Abbey, my British manor house reference point.  Having no servants to gift with boxes, we will read, write and draw, then go to the movies.  I miss friends who host game playing parties on this day. Maybe next year. Continue reading →

late november catch-up

27 Wednesday Nov 2019

Posted by in Educating Julia, Growing a Daughter, Journaling My Days

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IMG_6072Public Service Announcement: “Regularly used in text messages or online, the word/ letter /phrase /term, “K” really only means one thing: Fuck You. The use of a “K” should be reserved for very selective moments of frustration or annoyance, otherwise it sends the wrong impression.” Read more here.

Am I the last person in the cyber world to know this??  Perhaps.  I can definitely think of specific people who have used this with me.  If they meant it in any other way but a casual “okay,” I was clueless.  I think of myself as a relatively savvy-for-an-old-lady online participant—I do wonder where people get their gifs from and so quickly after I message them.  My older daughter has promised to show me.  But this, K stuff is perplexing.  Who told who and when and why did they leave me out? Continue reading →

2019 resolutions

01 Tuesday Jan 2019

Posted by in Journaling My Days, Pondering Quietly

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Sarah-Kaufman-And-Then-There-Were-ThreeI make resolutions.  I have know people who have not approved of this habit, some pretty vocally.  And I still do it.  I like setting goals and I am not undone failing to reach them.  I’ve lived in Julia’s therapy world for a long time and when she does not meet a therapy goal set within the prescribed time, it is either carried on or modified.  So too, my resolutions.  Certainly, the resolution to consider or contemplate home which has been on my resolution list long before I began posting resolutions is a perfect example.  From the time I left NYC for the midwest, I’ve puzzled over the idea of home.  NYC was home.  Now, the pieces fit. Home is simply where the love is—family and friends and warm community.  Madison has been home, first because it was where David and I lived together and then because I was determined to reclaim life and be a part of the community.  Of course, I’ve known this intuitively for a long time—such a Dorothy moment.  And these days, my eyes are fixed on Boston as home, a home as precious and satisfying as Madison has been.   Continue reading →

christmas and home again

30 Sunday Dec 2018

Posted by in Growing a Daughter, Travels with a Daughter

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I could hav stayed home all day under covers, sipping tea and staring into the fire.  But . . . 

Arrived in Madison in the wee hours of this morning and had a good, long sleep.  This morning we breakfast and then puttered made lists—of all I’ve been thinking of this past week, of getting ready for the new year, of groceries we need to buy today.  Julia googled swords to add to a drawing in Adobe Draw—I am encouraging the use of layers.  Her use is artificial right now and I could be wrong in my directions, but I am assuming the some practice will benefit her in the long run. She is using her new stylus although she is still at times reverting to her fingers. Continue reading →