Category: Growing a Daughter
Updates and stories about my daughter from China who came home with challenges described in letters—PDD-NOS (on the autism spectrum), ADHD and RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder). Her learning curve has been steep and therapy is a way of life. School and social interactions are a challenge. Making art is a way of life. So is a vivid imagination.
walking, swinging & breathing
We are proceeding slowly through our day. This is truly our first day alone. During the weekend, we had a guest who lingered and we saw Cheshire and Justin twice since school let out. So, this is day 1 alone.
No word from the school about work so it’s time to devise some of my own. Looking through work from a few summers ago and thinking about what Julia is doing in her community math class, I decided on time as our math focus, one of Julia’s weaknesses and something that she needs to become proficient in to succeed as an adult. Today, I made up a worksheet for the passage of days. In school, they are working on the passage of minutes. Continue reading
day 5
From yesterday: There is a puzzle on the dining room table and eggs in the kitchen ready to be made into pysanky. Hoping to encourage Julia to do a drawing a day to post here. Trying to put some kind of schedule of our days together. Loose to be sure. Motivation is lagging this morning and I haven’t made the call to nudge Julia or I into action. All I’ve done is answer a few emails and do the census online. Very, very curious about how we find our rhythm during this time. Considering all the time we have, we may just have time to live in these questions.
I made a big pot of beef stew yesterday and we have enough milk, eggs, cheese, rice and pasta to avoid markets for days. The freezer is stocked with chicken breasts, soup, puttanesca sauce and frozen potatoes. We are running out of bananas and spinach. I usually don’t think about which fruit or veggie will go bad quickly, but avoiding stores . . . . What is a reasonable and responsible amount to time between shoppings? Continue reading
of dominos and labyrinths
And it is only Thursday. Now, Friday.
Like dominos. Like those elaborate domino runs that are impossible to look away from. Got to watch them to the end. All week, I compulsively check NYTimes.com. COVID19 and the stock market.
Two weeks ago, a group of high school students from Newton returned from Italy and went into quarantine. There were two emails from the school about that and more emails about possibilities and procedures if necessary. On Sunday, there was an email about a Newton resident with a student in middle school who was diagnosed with a presumptive case of COVID-19. The child, without symptoms, was following the quarantine protocol. Continue reading
sliding time
This may be the longest I’ve gone between blog posts. Time slides sideways; old challenges simmer; new ones poke their heads out of cold dirt like cheeky snow drops. February was either 8 or 46 days long. Julia’s behavior dominate this winter time. My excuse for not posting here is the detailed daily log of Julia that I have been keeping. Illuminating but time consuming and emotionally draining. I will write about her soon. For now, just to note that last Tuesday, she hit a new low. Julia had a screaming, crying melt down in front of school and when she was coaxed into the building, she banged her head against a wall hard enough to cause alarm about a concussion. Although I’d like to believe that it was an incident not to be repeated, self-harm could be the natural progression of the dis-regulation that has been part of everyday life. Continue reading
fear
Living in Fear as a Special Needs Parent
I read this post midday yesterday and tears were in my eyes. My life, our family life, has never been so desperate, so hard, but I know fear.
Two days ago, the mail carrier brought two letters from MassHealth which is Julia’s current insurer. MassHealth has lots of rules for lots of programs and it is challenging to figure it out. There are help lines and FAQs both inside the MassHealth world and outside in the form of advocacy groups. Still, MassHealth is labyrinth which makes the Triwizard Maze look like a walk in an English country garden. Continue reading
year of the rat
Happy Year of the Rat!
or
恭贺新禧 (gōng hè xīn xǐ) Literal translation: respectful congratulations on the New Year.
Yesterday, after cello lesson Julia and I went to The Dumpling Palace in China town for lunch and celebration. The restaurant was noisy, tables too close together, everyone was either leaning very close together to be heard talking or speaking loudly. We were asked to sit at a round table with two other small parties. The wait staff hurried from table to kitchen and back to tables. The arrival of dishes was announced and diners shouted to claim what was theirs. Julia had beef stew noodle soup, I had hot and sour soup, and we shared beef and crab juicy dumplings. Ours was a very small order for two compared to our tables mates but it filled us up. There was no encouragement to rush through the meal and the tea pot was replaced more than once. As we left, waiters wishes us a Happy New Year and when we returned the wishes, there were smiles. Continue reading
Chasing Joy 