Author: Suzanne Buchko

first week of summer

The week passed very quickly.  It was Thursday before I realized the Tuesday had ended.  We did lots of “things.”  We both struggled with the transition from school life to vacation life.  As much as Julia has transition challenges, my transmission faulted time and time again and I did grind the family gears repeatedly as we sought the new normal.

During the week, I finished the big spring garden job of mulching.  With Julia’s help and forbearance.  On one hand, I hate the specificity of the process–clear all weeds, dig the defining trench and heap on the chips hauled in black plastic bags from our free town mulching site.  On the other, I get to make many garden decisions–what is weed, when is overgrown, what is taking over.  I get to edit my garden.  And I get to interact with every plant–congratulating the delphinium in glory, enouraging the new hollyhocks, clearing space for the little holly in the back garden and appreciating the bed that is growing up surrounding David’s bench.  To do all of this, with Julia either helping or sitting doing math and reading near by is no small task.  And we did it. Continue reading →

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lessons, gardens & travel plans

The days just move along and move along.  It is all a-whirl.

Seventh grade ends tomorrow.  This is only the second time that Julia has greeted summer with enthusiasm.  She understands enough about time to appreciate breaks.  I find the transition from school to vacation unnerving.  Work in school has been on the wane.  Her big “country project” for social studies was finished two weeks ago.  Her last book review and spelling test about a week ago.  Math has dribbled to a close. Continue reading →

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metaphor

Sitting on the front porch, drinking a giant glass of iced coffee and eating a very sugared scone, both of which I have sworn off and desperately needed this morning.  After inhaling the scone and sucking up half the coffee, I begin to feel humanity seeping back into my bones.  I look down to see the nose of a squirrel about six inches from my foot.  I startle at exactly the same moment as the squirrel—I know this guy, he spends many a morning on my porch.  He moves around me, not quite out of sight. This is his porch as much as mine.  I feel my heart beat quickly after the startle and I imagine I see his racing in his chest.  We are not friends, both wary of the other, but not exactly unfriendly either.  I put my plate of scone crumbs on the floor six feet from my seat, half the distance between us.  He is still; his eyes on me.  I sit back down and he advances to the plate much more quickly that I would have advised had I been his mother.  He eats.  I do not offer him a sip of coffee but wonder if caffeine would have made him a squirrel-ier squirrel this morning.   Continue reading →

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curmudgeon cracking

julia swinging in the apple orchard.

I’ve been wallow-y lately.  Lots of stuff going on and little of it easy or smooth.  Last week, I cried to the universe: Can’t anything in my life go smoothly!?  I think the universe answered: no.  Honestly, when I get like this, I’d really like to climb out of my skin and give it away.  Who in their right mind would take it?  

Self pity.  Ugly, messy stuff.  A gaggle of quotations run through my mind.  I get it.  Self pity. A dangerous elixir.  

Pouts:

The school year is not winding down gracefully.  Julia was late to school six days in a row.  A lack of focus on doing the tasks at hand is the raison d’être — redressing a doll, picking up some reading, working on a lego piece has all taken precedence to getting washed, dressed and ready.  The loss of focus happens in an instant, my back turns, I make my bed, I run downstairs to start the kettle.  And Julia has been disrespectful to teacher twice this week — refusing work, speaking inappropriately, being generally mean.  I live in dead fear that this will escalate and mark her as a trouble maker.  I fear alienating the very people, her teachers, who are her lifeline to the world. Continue reading →

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just hard

image It would have been a hard weekend if all had gone well. But all did not go well and I am on the other side of it. My head aches, my stomach is both tight and churning. And although I slept the night hard with a loving dream of an old professor’s praise for a new child, I awoke exhausted. I could have dropped Julia off at school and ducked beneath the covers. I didn’t. I know my blue moods. This one did not creep up. It was a definite possibility from the start. Though I prepared and hoped it would not to come to fruition, the aftermath could not be unexpected. Continue reading →

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Chicago spring weekend


Chicago. W Hotel. Chicago Art Institute.

This is way less exotic than writing about hotels and sites in Italy, but I need to begin somewhere. Almost in my own backyard. Julia and I are in Chicago for a short weekend to see her vision therapist and her naturopath, and to see the Van Gogh’s Bedroom exhibit at the Art Institute.

Caveat:  I am looking at travel from the perspective of traveling with Julia who is on the autism spectrum. Of course, no one has precisely Julia’s needs but perhaps as others find these posts, they will comment about how I can make my ‘reviews’ more to the disability community. Helpful to a wider range of families. Continue reading →

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hunting airfare – part 2

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Julia waiting for a cab to leave Torino, 2015.

Travel News:  (1) I bought summer plane tickets. (2) I pricelined a Chicago hotel room for the weekend to visit Julia’s vision therapy doctor and her naturopath.

Travel News Fallout:  Julia, on hearing of the travel plans, is ready to spend our entire week in England exploring Harry Potter related sites.

I have been hunting and gathering for a few weeks.  I waited a week too long and saw airfare prices creep up, not by much, but, related to that, flights filled up.  There was slim pickings for our seats to Milan.  After I chose ours, there were another 8 seats left in the economy section and the only two seats together did not recline.  I bought ten weeks before travel.  There were no incredible deals that I could find after the  twelve week point.  And definitely less choice.  To be sure, there are last minute deals to be found if one could wait it out but I begin talking to Julia about a weekend in Chicago a few weeks before we go.  A month in Italy is not something to spring on her. Continue reading →

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hitting

I just finished writing about buy airline tickets.  I have no idea if it will be of any use to anyone else.  Still, I write.  I wrote while sitting in my favorite “French” cafe breakfasting on pain aux raises and cafe au lait while Edith Piaf wailed on overhead speakers.  And smiling broadly from time to time.  Me, not Edith.

Julia has had a hard few days.  Behaviors seem to be escalating.  I have no idea of why and the behavior is not echoed home.  Ach! I mean I have some idea—stress, noise—I’ve said all the before, but wanting to report and keep track.  Perhaps one day, someday, I will see some pattern that can be affected somehow by something we do at home  before or after school without just imposing grave consequences.  I still take the iPad away for days or weeks from time to time but that is mostly for at home behavior, especially becoming too engrossed in the iPad.  Julia does not suffer the loss of her electronics.  She quickly finds “real” activities and I suspect her behavior improves merely because that screen is not swallowing her whole. Continue reading →

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hunting airfare – part 1

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Vernazza in Cinque Terre, 2015

Yipee!  It is time to go a’hunting for summer!

I’ve been talking about my nascent travel plans for this summer among friends and a few folks asked how I find somewhat economical airline tickets for summer travel.  When I began planning last month, I dug out last year’s notes but what I had saved was slap dash not not useful.  I had to do some reinvention of the wheel and, in order not to repeat that exercise, I’m writing it down now. Also, I’ve been reading travel blogs and websites and frankly, I don’t agree with some of what I’ve read.  I am always trying to squeeze an extra mile out of my travel dollars and this is what has worked for me.  (If any reader has suggestions to do better, please comment.) Continue reading →

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