Julia finished two days. She has come home happy both days. I’ve gotten no frantic phone calls, emails or texts from anyone at school. She lost her binder on the first day (found yesterday) and her new to her jacket on the second (she will look for it today). There is a strict phone rule in her physics class—if the phone comes out in class, you lose it. First time, until the end of class, second time, it goes to the house office with unknown consequences. Good black line rule for Julia, nice that it is for everyone. I’ve driven her to school these two days and I will do so tomorrow as well. Buses are messed up (Did I bring that challenge with me?). Interestingly, the bus dilemma is not confined to sped buses and there was a general email from the principal about it yesterday. He admitted that the primary reason for the problem is not enough planning and he has an idea about what to do for next year. For the present, more parents are driving kids to school. Just like West, Newton North sits in the middle of a suburban neighborhood and as such does not have the roads to support school drop off traffic. Our 6 minute drive takes 20 and getting out of melee takes more. The buses will help. I think Julia appreciates our time in the car. High anxiety yesterday, a slightly lower level this morning. Continue reading
Tuesday: First day of Julia’s Junior year at Newton North High School. Today has been a bit more than a year in the making. The first queries I wrote to Boston area high schools, when I was still just toying with the idea of moving, were dated mid-August 2018. So, today feels like crossing a finish line and at the same time, it is the beginning of another big adventure.
I drove Julia to school this morning and her case manager met her at the door. Julia went in at 11, an hour before upper class students were due to arrive and two hours after the freshman class started. The Sped administrator, who has been our life line since we arrived, suggested the time and it gave Julia a chance to have lunch and settle in before the school filled up. Continue reading
Sitting in a coffee shop whose name I’ve already forgotten. There is no free wifi here which suggests that I will try the Starbucks around the corner next time. My car is parked at a metered space that I probably don’t have enough time on. I can’t always tell if there is a time limit on parking spaces. Julia is at an orientation for new students. She is anxious and scattered and so am I.
New reality: Carry change for meters. Find a coffee shop with free wifi. Get acquainted with feeling scattered. Continue reading
“The deeper that sorrow curves into your being‚ the more joy you can contain.” ~Khalil Gibran (Also, Sr. Francis said something like this to me when I sought her counsel after my first “true love” broke up with me. I have been taught the same lessons over and over.)
Writing around the photos from last week when I should be making phone calls. I almost posted pictures without words, thinking that energy should be put to the practical and useful. I let that thought pass.
We made it to a beach on Friday. Unfortunately, the beach itself was not all that hospitable. Revere Beach, which to tell the truth I had been warned might disappoint. It was low tide and the waves were smaller that Lake Michigan’s waves on a sunny day. The damp and wet sand was covered with a bit of sea weed and a lot of brown oozy stuff. I googled around trying to figure out what it was but the best I could find was a newspaper description of “yucky brown stuff that smells.” Is it bacteria? Have I been away from oceans for too long to know what is normal? Continue reading
According to the MMSD calendar, the last day of school was June 12. However, the high school exam schedule was for June 6 and 7 (Thursday and Friday), as well as June 10 (Monday). Months ago, I had assumed that a closing date of June 12th meant that Julia would be in school until that day. As it turned out, the one exam Julia was scheduled to take on the 10th could be given to her on the 7th, and so, Julia had a rather anticlimatic last day of 10th grade/ last day of West High on Friday without many good-byes. We went back on Monday to take some pictures and say some farewells. Julia is taking good memories of her time at West High with her.
House on sale today. The listing.
The House: Staged. Stripped of it finery. My finery. Even the periwinkle walls of my bedroom are bleached white. Adorned with ersatz tchotchkes and fake ferns. Upstairs hall echos when I call up to Julia in the morning. The ethos of the house is a disturbing dream of a home I have abandoned but not left. Dali or Esher-like?
Me: tired, grumpy, stressed. Discovering how home is rooted in the art on my walls and the books on their shelves. Terrified that the pace of change is picking up. Yes, I know, I pushed that stone down the hill. Continue reading
I haven’t found time to write all week. I’m a little off my game and way too intense. It’s all about the work of getting ready for sale. My house, quickly becoming “the” house, will go on the market March 15. Ok, there may be some wiggle room but around then. I’ve been in the basement all week sorting, tidying and chasing cobwebs. Stuff. All that stuff that I put to one side after finishing my big basement cleanup 7 years ago. I didn’t know what to do with that stuff then and unfortunately, gremlins didn’t steal into the basement and take disposition into their own hands. In truth most of that ‘stuff’ should go into the trash with just a bit that might be useful going to St. Vinnie’s. But how to trash a statue of the BVM, won in a third grade catechism bee, whose base is so chipped she doesn’t stand anymore? If she was small I’d put her on my meditation altar but she is tall, would dominate the eye candy and would fall over. I make piles, then divide the piles, clear out the trash piles, stuff the St. Vinnie piles into bags and put those in my car trunk, and then repeat. Piles of stuff are slowly diminishing, moving boxes are mating and begetting. Continue reading
When I go to open the journal/blog file and it is not in the “most recent” list, I know for sure it has been too long. My fingers ache with my scribbling deficiency but my head is stuffed with Earth Science facts, easy algebra and a lesson on loving myself from James Baraz.
Lately, I have not been happy. A bit overwhelmed and second guessing myself about my big decisions. Dissatisfied and pining for a different life. This morning, life is good! Continue reading
The week has been a challenge. Getting back after a weekend away. A weekend in which we visited what felt like many groups of friends and a few relatives. Julia and I enjoyed seeing her godmother, my Indy friends, the China Sisters, and my niece, nephew, their kids and parents. It all went by quickly and smoothly. Even the drive back was smooth and easy—cloudy driving day, warm enough to take off coats in the car. The niggle in a far back corner of my mind reminding me that there will be goodbye visits that will feel much like this particular weekend. Continue reading
Yesterday’s solstice. The days are gray, almost dark enough to need lights in the house all day. By 3:45, artificial light is mandatory and by 4:30 the sun set. I put on out window, porch and tree lights for the night and left them on until the morning. I want to be part of the calling in the light. Continue reading