Orta San Giulia – one last look . . . for now

It is 5 in the morning and Orta is quiet. Amazing. Somewhere someone is waking up and getting ready for the day but the island, over which I continue to obsess, is dark (Is everyone asleep there?) and there are few sounds in Orta except for birds and air conditioners blowing. Too bad about the air conditioning but this is a tourist town. We had ours on for the night. Julia couldn’t sleep with the din from the piazza and the rolling thunder that presaged a late night storm. That thunder went on for most of the day! The lake is long and narrow and surrounded by hills and mountains and the sound bounces and pings around. That storm tonight has been slowly moving towards us since noon. Continue reading →

Posted on 29 July 201630 July 2016 by Suzanne Buchko 0

Orta San Giulio & drawing

Julia is sketching about what she sees the last few days and drawing landscapes for the first time. It is clear she lacks training but as usual her eye for design and placement is right on. She fumbles when trying to add color but I continue to encourage her. New learning is exciting. Besides feeding my wanderlust, I travel to open this incredible world to Julia. Continue reading →

Posted on 26 July 201629 July 2016 by Suzanne Buchko 0

airborn

Awhile ago–months, a year or 2–when we were taking Southwest, I began asking if we could pre-board based on Julia’s autism. Now, I ask as a matter of course. It is very helpful and no big deal. Pre-boarding allows us to get settled before the surge of travelers overwhelms the aisles. I guess if we brought our carry on bags aboard the plane, pre-boarding would give is a bit of an advantage; however I check bags which is also easier for Julia. At some point someone gave us a pre-tsa screening designation which makes getting through the security lines quicker and easier. I know I could have applied for this. I don’t know how involved it is. Our line is shorter–when it is busy, there can still be a patience dependent line, but we don’t remove shoes or take electronics out of our bags or remove light jackets. We take Southwest often and I did not know whether the status would work with any other airline. It did today with United traveling internationally. Yahoo! Someone’s little kindness helps smooth our travel every time we fly. I am grateful. Continue reading →

Posted on 8 July 20169 July 2016 by Suzanne Buchko 1

first week of summer

The week passed very quickly. It was Thursday before I realized the Tuesday had ended. We did lots of “things.” We both struggled with the transition from school life to vacation life. As much as Julia has transition challenges, my transmission faulted time and time again and I did grind the family gears repeatedly as we sought the new normal.

During the week, I finished the big spring garden job of mulching. With Julia’s help and forbearance. On one hand, I hate the specificity of the process–clear all weeds, dig the defining trench and heap on the chips hauled in black plastic bags from our free town mulching site. On the other, I get to make many garden decisions–what is weed, when is overgrown, what is taking over. I get to edit my garden. And I get to interact with every plant–congratulating the delphinium in glory, enouraging the new hollyhocks, clearing space for the little holly in the back garden and appreciating the bed that is growing up surrounding David’s bench. To do all of this, with Julia either helping or sitting doing math and reading near by is no small task. And we did it. Continue reading →

Posted on 19 June 201620 June 2016 by Suzanne Buchko 1

lessons, gardens & travel plans

The days just move along and move along. It is all a-whirl.

Seventh grade ends tomorrow. This is only the second time that Julia has greeted summer with enthusiasm. She understands enough about time to appreciate breaks. I find the transition from school to vacation unnerving. Work in school has been on the wane. Her big “country project” for social studies was finished two weeks ago. Her last book review and spelling test about a week ago. Math has dribbled to a close. Continue reading →

Posted on 9 June 20169 June 2016 by Suzanne Buchko 4

curmudgeon cracking

I’ve been wallow-y lately. Lots of stuff going on and little of it easy or smooth. Last week, I cried to the universe: Can’t anything in my life go smoothly!? I think the universe answered: no. Honestly, when I get like this, I’d really like to climb out of my skin and give it away. Who in their right mind would take it?

Self pity. Ugly, messy stuff. A gaggle of quotations run through my mind. I get it. Self pity. A dangerous elixir.

Pouts:

The school year is not winding down gracefully. Julia was late to school six days in a row. A lack of focus on doing the tasks at hand is the raison d’être — redressing a doll, picking up some reading, working on a lego piece has all taken precedence to getting washed, dressed and ready. The loss of focus happens in an instant, my back turns, I make my bed, I run downstairs to start the kettle. And Julia has been disrespectful to teacher twice this week — refusing work, speaking inappropriately, being generally mean. I live in dead fear that this will escalate and mark her as a trouble maker. I fear alienating the very people, her teachers, who are her lifeline to the world. Continue reading →

Posted on 15 May 2016 by Suzanne Buchko 0

hitting

I just finished writing about buy airline tickets. I have no idea if it will be of any use to anyone else. Still, I write. I wrote while sitting in my favorite “French” cafe breakfasting on pain aux raises and cafe au lait while Edith Piaf wailed on overhead speakers. And smiling broadly from time to time. Me, not Edith.

Julia has had a hard few days. Behaviors seem to be escalating. I have no idea of why and the behavior is not echoed home. Ach! I mean I have some idea—stress, noise—I’ve said all the before, but wanting to report and keep track. Perhaps one day, someday, I will see some pattern that can be affected somehow by something we do at home before or after school without just imposing grave consequences. I still take the iPad away for days or weeks from time to time but that is mostly for at home behavior, especially becoming too engrossed in the iPad. Julia does not suffer the loss of her electronics. She quickly finds “real” activities and I suspect her behavior improves merely because that screen is not swallowing her whole. Continue reading →

Posted on 22 April 201622 April 2016 by Suzanne Buchko 1

dress rehearsal curse

First came the Friday rehearsal.

In a gymnasium full of noisy cellists, Julia warmed up for the rehearsal of the strings festival. She was disappointed not to see anyone from her school among the cellos although last year, she was the only cellist from her middle school to participate. There were probably a gaggle of violinists but they warmed up in the cafeteria before coming into the gym. The mellow tones of a couple hundred cellos plus a few dozen basses created a din.I was my usual tense self for these kinds of gatherings. I wait for behavior. I wait for interruption or speaking where no speaking is called for. I wait for some grownup to tell Julia she cannot use the music. One of the rules of the festival is that kids memorize what they play but early on that was impossible for Julia and teachers waived the requirement. I waited, sitting as close as I could to her. Two years ago, her aide sat with her, last year, her teacher made sure that a sympathetic student was next to her. This year, she sat alone and I crossed as many extremities as I could muster, wanting and willing this to be a positive experience for her.

Continue reading →

Posted on 14 March 201613 April 2016 by Suzanne Buchko 1

being julia

Julia news: we are very much in the two steps forward, one step back frame. Forward: After a discussion about the Native American woman coming to talk to Julia’s literature class today – the class is reading “Touching Spirit Bear” – Julia wanted to know where Native Americans came from. A good question. After I answered, she opined that she was a Chinese girl fro China being raised by a Ukrainian mother from Ukraine–not quite that simple but close enough to be correct. And then, she asked what her father was. “My father.” She has never said that before and never asked anything like that. I said Jewish and she quickly asked if we celebrated Chanukah and Passover because David was Jewish. Then she asked is she had to believe Jewish beliefs. I was impressed, perhaps she is listening in RE class, but we were getting into a discussion that was too big to take on before waffles and tea. Continue reading →

Posted on 3 March 201613 April 2016 by Suzanne Buchko 0

festival of light

Quiet holidays. Tonight, Julia and I are home. We’ve been in all day. No rushing around. No therapy. No school. And especially, no shopping. As is my preference, I’ve done as much my gift buying online. I am no fan of the frenzied holiday stampede although I admit the need to examine with eyes and finger some potential purchases.