The wedding and the week at the lake house were wonderful but not without snags and challenges—challenges that have continued into the new week.
On Friday afternoon at the lake, Julia had a melt down. It was not about anything in particular and it was not the worst she has had but it hurt me pretty deeply. We had spent the week with Cheshire’s new in-laws and they were lovely to us, to Julia. We’ve been with them for holidays and the long weekend over the Fourth of July. Their interest in Julia and kindness towards her cannot be faulted. Even their children are kind and loving. It was precisely for those reasons that Julia’s behavior hit me so hard. She was making the situatin difficult and uncomfortable. All I could see at that point was that I had brought a very difficult family to the table. Quickly my hurt devolved into self-pity. Everyone else was coupled, I was alone. I could not even deliver Cheshire’s father to the wedding. Okay, that was not my fault. At least, I knew that rationally, but rationality had no place in that dark space. My aloneness and loneliness, that I fought against all week, reared its ugly head. I saw myself as a taker and my move to Boston as a mistake. If I was far away, Cheshire could, for the most part, engage with her husband’s extended family without the challenges that Julia brings to every event. Of course, when I voiced some of this to Cheshire, she disabused me of the ideas. Continue reading