“For the sake of old times!” As close as I can get to a translation that makes sense to me of the words “auld lang syne.”
“Should Old Acquaintance be forgot, and never thought upon”
A slight variation of the Robert Berns words, but the words that sang out to me this morning. Yes, I admit to wanting to not cast too many glances back. It has been a hard year. It has been a brutal almost two years, and all my heart wants to do is to turn and face the winds of the new, hoping and praying that the new will be much, much more pleasant than the old. As a friend wrote as a wish to another friend, a wish for a more cooperative new year.
I have been trying to be succinct all day. To formulate new resolutions as that is my yearly custom. Or to reflect on this last year—well, you know what that has been like. To feel some inspiration. To engage some new or renewed energy for a noble task.
At least, I think that is what I’ve been trying to do on and off all day.
But nothing comes. Instead, I scribble, starting down one path, following it awhile until it peters out. And then I turn to chase another path and do the same. Nothing sticks.
Holiday lights and the Christmas tree are still a blaze. I am still enchanted by the tree—crowded with decorations shimmering in light by night. Admittedly during the day, I cannot help by see the tips of branches turn downwards and the angel on top has become crooked. I don’t know which look is true, or maybe I should say that it is hard to hold both images in my head—the wilting fading greenery with crooked angel and the fairy lit confection—and know that it is the same tree.
I make resolutions.I have know people who have not approved of this habit, some pretty vocally.And I still do it.I like setting goals and I am not undone failing to reach them.I’ve lived in Julia’s therapy world for a long time and when she does not meet a therapy goal set within the prescribed time, it is either carried on or modified.So too, my resolutions.Certainly, the resolution to consider or contemplate home which has been on my resolution list long before I began posting resolutions is a perfect example.From the time I left NYC for the midwest, I’ve puzzled over the idea of home.NYC was home.Now, the pieces fit. Home is simply where the love is—family and friends and warm community.Madison has been home, first because it was where David and I lived together and then because I was determined to reclaim life and be a part of the community.Of course, I’ve known this intuitively for a long time—such a Dorothy moment.And these days, my eyes are fixed on Boston as home, a home as precious and satisfying as Madison has been. Continue reading →