changing

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Another penguin rehearsal.

I haven’t found time to write all week.  I’m a little off my game and way too intense.  It’s all about the work of getting ready for sale.  My house, quickly becoming “the” house, will go on the market March 15.  Ok, there may be some wiggle room but around then.  I’ve been in the basement all week sorting, tidying and chasing cobwebs.  Stuff.  All that stuff that I put to one side after finishing my big basement cleanup 7 years ago.  I didn’t know what to do with that stuff then and unfortunately, gremlins didn’t steal into the basement and take disposition into their own hands. In truth most of that ‘stuff’ should go into the trash with just a bit that might be useful going to St. Vinnie’s. But how to trash a statue of the BVM, won in a third grade catechism bee, whose base is so chipped she doesn’t stand anymore? If she was small I’d put her on my meditation altar but she is tall, would dominate the eye candy and would fall over.  I make piles, then divide the piles, clear out the trash piles, stuff the St. Vinnie piles into bags and put those in my car trunk, and then repeat.  Piles of stuff are slowly diminishing, moving boxes are mating and begetting.  Continue reading

learning curiosity

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74CDDAE7-CE49-4E60-98E2-38B095EAE245Curiosity.  Perhaps that is the theme for the month, maybe the year.

In Mare Chapman‘s class last fall, (wonderful teacher, by the way) a discussion about feeling ‘less than’ led me to tell the story of my brother challenging my ability to do a task because I was a woman.  One of my classmates asked what I would say to my brother today if he said the same thing to me today and I was silent.  When I admitted that I had no idea what to say, she offered, “I’d ask, ‘Why would you think that?’”  Her answer/question stunned me because it was so simple and yet, so far from my grasp.

Simple curiosity! Continue reading

konmari’d

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img_4026We have been!  If there is one person in my circle who has not heard of Marie Kondo, Japanese tidying diva, you need to check out her Netflix show and her website. https://blog.konmari.com. Wait, let me walk that back.  If you house (and your life) is orderly and tidy, if you have only what you need and are not burdened by the excesses you carry, ignore this goddess.

But for us . . .

Today is the first day back to school in a week.  The cold has kept us inside apart from necessary grocery runs and the kick off Penguin Project meeting last Sunday.  We did manage to host a spur of the moment dinner party at the beginning of the week, cabin fever averted for the moment.  Julia and I studied for the same two exams, a week delayed, for a few days and then gave up.  Over prepared could equal not prepared at all. Continue reading

of big snow flakes and natal days

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More Aboriginal Art that I did not buy.  Next time!!

When I go to open the journal/blog file and it is not in the “most recent” list, I know for sure it has been too long.  My fingers ache with my scribbling deficiency but my head is stuffed with Earth Science facts, easy algebra and a lesson on loving myself from James Baraz.  

Lately, I have not been happy.  A bit overwhelmed and second guessing myself about my big decisions.  Dissatisfied and pining for a different life. This morning, life is good! Continue reading

almost mid-january

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1e1fcdfa-2dbd-4d04-a0de-2e91211400b3The week has been a challenge.  Getting back after a weekend away.  A weekend in which we visited what felt like many groups of friends and a few relatives.  Julia and I enjoyed seeing her godmother, my Indy friends, the China Sisters, and my niece, nephew, their kids and parents.  It all went by quickly and smoothly.  Even the drive back was smooth and easy—cloudy driving day, warm enough to take off coats in the car.  The niggle in a far back corner of my mind reminding me that there will be goodbye visits that will feel much like this particular weekend. Continue reading

2019 resolutions

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Sarah-Kaufman-And-Then-There-Were-ThreeI make resolutions.  I have know people who have not approved of this habit, some pretty vocally.  And I still do it.  I like setting goals and I am not undone failing to reach them.  I’ve lived in Julia’s therapy world for a long time and when she does not meet a therapy goal set within the prescribed time, it is either carried on or modified.  So too, my resolutions.  Certainly, the resolution to consider or contemplate home which has been on my resolution list long before I began posting resolutions is a perfect example.  From the time I left NYC for the midwest, I’ve puzzled over the idea of home.  NYC was home.  Now, the pieces fit. Home is simply where the love is—family and friends and warm community.  Madison has been home, first because it was where David and I lived together and then because I was determined to reclaim life and be a part of the community.  Of course, I’ve known this intuitively for a long time—such a Dorothy moment.  And these days, my eyes are fixed on Boston as home, a home as precious and satisfying as Madison has been.   Continue reading

christmas and home again

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I could hav stayed home all day under covers, sipping tea and staring into the fire.  But . . . 

Arrived in Madison in the wee hours of this morning and had a good, long sleep.  This morning we breakfast and then puttered made lists—of all I’ve been thinking of this past week, of getting ready for the new year, of groceries we need to buy today.  Julia googled swords to add to a drawing in Adobe Draw—I am encouraging the use of layers.  Her use is artificial right now and I could be wrong in my directions, but I am assuming the some practice will benefit her in the long run. She is using her new stylus although she is still at times reverting to her fingers. Continue reading