“Get your shoes on. It’s time.”

Four days after Christmas, a few more days after Solstice, and one less than a few days after Chanukah. There is still New Year’s to look forward to or dread, but we are still in that breathing time amidst all these holidays. These are always days that I don’t expect to do or accomplish much. Not that these days are just for rest but for playing with paints or starting a 1000-piece puzzle or clearing that little pile of things with no place they belong on the kitchen counter or piling a whole bunch of papers from all over the house onto the in-box on my desk to be sorted at some unspecified future time. Nothing is resolved, but small movements towards big steps are being taken.

Yes, it has been like that these last few days.

Julia went to her day center last Friday. Ed and I went to the gym and then spent the afternoon on our laptops, reading, writing, and planning a weekend in NYC to see a friend’s play and to celebrate Julia’s 25^th birthday. It will be cold—we remind each other a few times, thinking about where we will stay and how we’ll feel about public transport in the middle of January. And walking.

To switch gears—The Christmas days were busy, noisy, and blessedly quiet. 

I was almost surprised that Julia did not complain about going to Price Center the day after Christmas. Part of her still exists on a school schedule—winter vacation, which is at least a week between Christmas and New Year’s—but I did not want to break her regular schedule, and she had a good pre-holiday time at Price Center that it was worth keeping it going.

On Christmas Eve, a day when Julia could have stayed home but went to her day center, I received a late email from the person in charge of her program:

I just wanted to let you know that today we did a talent show/show and tell, and Julia brought in her sketchbook and participated and stood in front of both the upstairs programs and showed off her drawings. They were so good, she’s so talented!! I know you told me that it’s hard for her to do things like this, but looking at today I would have never guessed that, she did awesome! So not sure if you knew she was doing this today or not, but either way I just wanted to check in and let you know it was really cool. 

I received some very lovely and thoughtful presents for these holidays, but that email was the best.

On Saturday, at Ed’s cousins’ party, Julia interacted with some of the guests.  It was a crowded, very noisy party—so much so, that for some of the time, I could only understand what was being said to me if I stood close and concentrated on who was speaking. Most of the time at those parties, Julia stays on the comfy couch with her nose in her phone. This party, she was up a few times interacting with folks. What was talked about I have no idea, but it was as social as I’ve ever seen her. Come to think of it, she was also social at church during Christmas celebrations, hugging a friend of mine who has always taken an interest in her.  

I did not take enough pictures of anything we did—which usually means I was having much too good a time.  But there are a few: 

And the first line of this post is from a poem that I read just before the Solstice from Kaitlin Curtice’s The Liminality Journal:

It was never around
but through,
never the easiest
way, but the
one that guarantees
us the chance
to know and love
ourselves at the end.

So, open the door,
go through the portal,
stand at the threshold,
carry yourself through
the winds of grief,
walk the primeter
of your soul’s deep forest
until you are ready
to journey through.

Get your shoes on.
It’s time.

A good start to the day, to the new year that is upon us.  

Always through, no matter what. Always through.

Finally, last week, while I was with Cheshire and the boys, we went into a bookstore. As we walked in, a woman was making her way out. She held a newly bought copy of Giving Up Is Unforgivable: A Manual for Keeping a Democracy, by Joyce Vance. She was holding the book in the crook of her arm, and I took note of the title and then promptly forgot about it. The very next day, a friend’s email mentioned Vance’s Giving Up Is Unforgivable.  A new name, a new book twice in a few days. Yes, indeed, I notice. And just like that, I have a new, insightful woman to read. I have the book on hold at the library, and her Substack blog is called Civil Discourse with Joyce Vance.

And almost forgot–as requested, pictures of my first “ugly” holiday sweater —