The picture is of the window ledge over my kitchen sink. It is, for the most part, my plant hospital for plants that are not faring well and need special attention. Most of those plants heal, start thriving, and get put in the living room that gets attention but not daily and more light. But what I wanted to write about is the parable I see in the two paper white bulbs growing in water that are close to the window in the back of the photo.

I love paper white narcissus for the winter holidays, although many years I start them too late or forget to find/order some at all. This year I remembered and may have a few blooms by New Year’s.

These two healthy bulbs were ordered from my favorite bulb distributor and put in water on the same day. The bulb on the left took off like gangbusters. I think it was in water less than two full days when tiny roots appeared, the greens followed quickly, and a tiny bud has formed. The bulb on the left was the opposite. It has taken a few weeks for any roots to appear. They are short, and there are few of them. The greens have hardly begun. 

I have so many more questions about the bulb on the right, and one of those questions is always what, if anything, can I do to encourage it. I don’t want to and clearly cannot do anything to rush growth or bloom, but I have an interest in getting that bulb to do both.

Washing vegetables or dishes, I observe the growth and cannot help but draw the larger picture. 

My children.

Today, I finished the five-session, 3-hour each, Housing Bootcamp given by Cathy Boyle of Autism Pathways. It has been intensive and expansive, and I am so glad I waited to take this workshop until I had been researching housing for a few months and attended many Zoom meetings about specific housing ideas and general information. I wanted to have heard terms and some ideas before I took the plunge. I am glad I took the time.

So much information and the absolute possibility of acute overwhelm.  And also, very comforting to have an actual person to ask questions of because no matter what is on websites, in informational booklets, or written as regulations, there are specific questions that need answers, even if that answer is “I don’t know.” 

I have a huge amount of work to do to get and find Julia a home, and to get her ready for such a transition. I need to be intentional about the planning and preparation, which has felt overwhelming. But today, for the first time, I was able to write a list of 10 skills that I could teach Julia in the next year and 5 next steps that I could take.  There are pages of skills she needs to learn and almost the same number of tasks I need to do.

Oh, those thousand-mile journeys!

Today, I am not intimidated by the project.

I need to remember that I feel this way at least today. 

And a note about yesterday’s post: I needed to say all that.  Dark and depressing and scary.  It is not holiday card material, but it has been on my mind for a few weeks.  Writing it down was like uncapping the soda bottle that had been shaken—Emotions spraying all over the place, but afterwards, something closer to calm and peace. And the bit of writing block that was happening is gone.  Whew!