Thursday morning somewhere around 10 am, I was at the Discovery Museum with Cheshire and the boys when Cheshire received a phone call from The Price Center.  The director of Julia’s program was looking for me. Cheshire handed her phone to me, I verified that he had the wrong phone number for me—one digit off—and then we got down to the content of the call.  

I braced myself. Out of habit. In my experience, calls from directors are rarely good news. Some behavior, some serious concern, or in the worst situation: “You need to come pick your daughter up immediately.” When Julia was in school, there might be an occasional call about not-so-bad news, but generally and since kindergarten, calls from the institution are not good news. 

Thursday was different.

The director explained that Julia had been quiet at The Price Center and he was checking to see what her impression of her first few days were. I was so shocked that I was quiet, possibly with my mouth open, for a few moments. I was quiet long enough for him to clarify that nothing at all was amiss but that he wanted to make sure they were starting off on the right foot. 

THEY were starting off on the right foot!

I can’t quite reconstruct right how suprised I was. No one at either of the programs that Julia has been in since she left her transition program in January 2023, has wanted feedback from me about Julia’s impressions. At the program she just left, I tried for months to work with the director and staff on some ideas to make Julia more comfortable and to encourage her to participate in outings and talk about employment.  At one point, staff in charge of her group had a meeting with me and agreed to a few of my ideas but Julia was moved to a different group soon afterwards and there was no follow through.  I never convinced anyone that with some team effort—staff and me—Julia would do better there.

On Thursday morning, I took a deep breath and assured the director that Julia had good things to say about her experience so far. She had told me that she was not socializing with others at the Price Center but that she was enjoying herself.  She liked being there. The rooms are “light and airy”—don’t know where she heard that.  She had found somewhere to take quiet time when she needed it, she was okay with keeping her phone with her backpack except during lunch and she was joinig some of the discussions including one about money. 

The director seemed happy to hear all that and said that if I had any ideas to make Julia more comfortable that I should call him. He also asked if it was okay for Julia to volunteer for some of their paid assignments including cleaning some of the apartments at the Price Center. I agreed that it would be a good opportunity for her and that she was very able to do some cleaning at home.

And then, later that day, the director called me again to let me know that the Julia’s van had left without her, through no fault of hers, and that he was waiting with her until it return to bring her home.  He said she was somewhat anxious that the van left but he was having a good time talking with her.

Again, it took me a moment to respond.

It has been a week.  And I didn’t dare commit anything to paper or screen in the last five days.  Just in case, what I was seeing and hearing from Julia changed during the week.  Just in case, her positive reactions switched midweek. But it is Saturday and so far, so very good!  Julia came home every day happy Monday thru Friday. She can tell me one thing she has done each day and has eaten all her lunch, well, most of her lunch. 

There is reason to hope. Hope that this is a good placement, that Julia will participate in activities, that she will sign up for outside activities, that she eventually make some friends and move into the vocation part of the program.  I know, I know that is a lot of hoping. I’m not expecting it tomorrow or next month, maybe in 8 or 10 months. But there is reason to hope.

Every year we sing Emily Dickerson’s words:

“Hope” is the thing with feathers –
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without the words –
And never stops – at all –

That’s where I am this weekend. Exactly there.

And in the news: The NYTimes posted a list of words that are being flagged to limit or avoid in government documents to avoid the “woke” initiatives of previous administrations.  Among the lengthy list are: biologically female, breastfeed + person, female, feminism, gender, people + uterus, pregnant person, pronouns and women.  How is anyone in government going to report or write new legislation that concerns people of my gender? Curious that not a single word relates to the male gender. Implications are easy and clear.

I noted words related to my gender, but, of course, there are series of words relatd to energy and climate and disability and minority and non-white ethnicities and non-straight identity. And more. 

They want to erase the language of justice, the language of democracy.  

But on the other hand, if those peoples described by all those words listed united, it could become the language of a new revolution.