I make resolutions. I have know people who have not approved of this habit, some pretty vocally. And I still do it. I like setting goals and I am not undone failing to reach them. I’ve lived in Julia’s therapy world for a long time and when she does not meet a therapy goal set within the prescribed time, it is either carried on or modified. So too, my resolutions. Certainly, the resolution to consider or contemplate home which has been on my resolution list long before I began posting resolutions is a perfect example. From the time I left NYC for the midwest, I’ve puzzled over the idea of home. NYC was home. Now, the pieces fit. Home is simply where the love is—family and friends and warm community. Madison has been home, first because it was where David and I lived together and then because I was determined to reclaim life and be a part of the community. Of course, I’ve known this intuitively for a long time—such a Dorothy moment. And these days, my eyes are fixed on Boston as home, a home as precious and satisfying as Madison has been.
I did not post resolutions for 2018, not for lack of trying to write some. I drafted and drafted and nothing really stuck. This morning at 3:00 a.m., the urge struck. Ya’ know, there must be so much energy zipping around at 3:00 a.m. When I am not anxious that I am going to ruin the coming day by being awake and working at 3:00 a.m., I can almost see the magic in the quiet air.
And now, 2019 resolutions:
Find comfort in dualities
Give more, expect less
Ask for help
Turn off screens
Trust in myself and the process
Step through the fear door and give myself to the world
And above all else, be kind. To myself, to my family, to my community, to those who are yet unknown to me.
Some tasks for the first six months of 2019:
Teach Julia about family and friendship
Write like life depended on it. It does.
Clear clutter, give away excess (and more)
Search, Sell and Pack
Go to the gym
*art by Sarah Kaufman